To mother

To mother

My mother passed away of breast cancer in 2003. She went through a treatment after treatment. There were periods of hope that she would survive through all that pain. She would make me tap on her bald head and smile and say - "Feel how soft the new hair is". She was a strong woman, caring...loving. She taught me the best thing that I know now - cooking. When I cook now I feel her presence with me but there is still that emptiness. I was 17 when she was gone from this world - I am now 24. She wanted me to sit in the passenger seat with me while I drive. I couldn't fulfill that dream of hers. There were a lot of dreams that I couldn't fulfill. She was gone forever and there was nothing in the world I could do. I used to write to fill the void and today is the day I open that diary and paste all that here:

To Mother

You were a tree,

And I a leaf,

Fruits...love,

You were here,

I was green.

For me it's autumn now,

For you a cycle of nature.

You looked dried up,

And the second you fell.
Ground shook,

So did I.

I fell with you,

Got carried by the wind.

Still in the air,

I drift.

Vaguely I remember birds,

Perching on your branch.

Now I see nothing but 

The evil side of nature.

Now that I am alone,
Birds poke me.

Ants crawl on me.

Caterpillars take pieces of me.

Mom you ever ask God,

Why He took you but not me?

All this suffering that you left.

It's almost 3 years.

I am drying up too,

yet not completely.

My time will come too,

Nothing on earth lives.

I know that too. 

Loss of mother

The love that you shared,

and I took it for granted.

The moments that you shared,

and now they have disappeared.

The day I was born;

Turned one and then two.

Who's to remind me

But you; took away

My memories; that first day of mine.

Who's to remind me,

But you; took away

That first day I walked,

That first day I called you "ma"

My first day of school,

You took away,

You took away.
A huge part of me ma

Whole of me ma

Everything I had ma

You!